Does He Cheat? Take This Infidelity IQ Test To Determine
Quizzes are entertaining, but what do they actually reveal? This one reveals the dangers to which many of us subject our primary extraordinary sex, as well as the resulting denial.
Pat Love, a renowned sex and relationship expert and co-author of Hot Monogamy and The Truth About Love, designed this Infidelity IQ test.
Take it together or individually. Dare to converse. Read what Pat has learned from observing couples.
YT: Pat, How did you develop this test?
PL: I created it after 25 years of research and clinical observation with couples.
I assigned roles, rules, and functions to each of the subgroups based on Salvador Minuchin's model of structural family therapy, which delineated subgroups within the family (e.g., spouse, parent, sibling).
The marital unit consists of two adults who meet their physical and emotional adult needs.
After his death, I discovered that my husband had been unfaithful to me.
How do you use YouTube?
The objective is to get both parties to identify their respective obligations under the relationship's contract. It is reasonable to assume that your partner shares your expectations.
The quiz has a high "squirm factor," which indicates that I may think it's acceptable to have private, ongoing conversations with an attractive man, but I would never want my partner to do the same with an attractive woman. The examination may raise "red flags."
It also has the ability to overcome denial. I worked with a couple in which the partner felt threatened by the man's "friendship" with another woman.
She had trouble convincing him that a non-sexual relationship could be a threat, and it wasn't until he reacted so strongly to the idea of ending their friendship that he realized how attached he had become to the other woman.
A primary romantic relationship involves being romantic partners, best friends, confidantes, and financial and social partners. Sharing these roles with a third party depletes energy and dilutes the closeness of the primary relationship.
Have you been surprised by what people consider "acceptable" outside of a committed relationship?
PL: Yes. Sometimes I look at their responses and think, "You don't really think that's acceptable, do you?" It explains why the rate of adultery is so high.
YT: Do you frequently observe a disparity between how subjects perceive their own behavior and that of their partners?
PL: You bet. A common response is, "I understand my motivation and commitment to my relationship, so I know that spending time with an attractive friend is not a threat to it. However, I'm not sure if my partner knows where to draw the line."
In other words, I have faith in myself but not in him/her.
Determine if he is a cheater.
Indicate whether each statement represents acceptable (A) or unacceptable (U) behavior.
(Note: When the term "attractive" is used, it implies that you find this person attractive and/or that this person finds you attractive.)
Possessing attractive friends outside of the marriage or relationship.
Frequently engaging in social activities without your partner
Sharing frequently the most important part of your day with another individual.
Sharing a hobby or pastime with an attractive individual.
Spending private time with an attractive colleague or friend.
Exhibiting non-sexual physical affection towards an attractive friend (A U) 6.
7. greeting an attractive acquaintance with a kiss.
Spending time with individuals who dislike your partner.
9. Discussing your personal relationship issues with others.
Having private email relationships that are flirtatious in nature.
11. Flirting with other individuals
Being secretly infatuated with someone for an extended period of time.
The act of romantically kissing another person without any sexual contact.
Sexual contact with another individual that does not involve genital sex.
Sexual contact with another individual that does not involve intercourse.
16. Declaring one's love or infatuation for another without physical contact.
Having sexual relations with another individual without emotional involvement.
18. Being emotionally and physically involved with another person in order to strengthen your marriage or relationship.
Having a relationship with another person while concealing it.
Both of you have significant others outside of your marriage/relationship.
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