It is a certainty of life that something will extraordinary sex appear out of nowhere and smack you square in the face. (In a figurative sense, of course.)

Perhaps it's the loss of a job, the dissolution of a relationship, or the realization that Taylor Swift's songs are incredibly catchy. The point is that there are numerous occurrences for which you cannot plan.

Let's travel through time, shall we?

My then-wife and I lived in a small Rhode Island town. As newcomers to the area, we were still in the process of making new friends. Joe (new "husband" friend) was the type of fun-loving individual who would always be first on the dance floor at our favorite watering hole, dragging whoever was closest to him along with him. With blond hair and a muscular build, he was attractive in his own way.

Kim (new "wife" friend) was an absolute doll. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed young lady. The type of woman for whom you perform a double-take. A few months ago, we met by chance at a mutual friend's party. At the time, they had been married for roughly a year (plus or minus a few months) and were obviously still in the honeymoon phase, as evidenced by the way they clung to each other.

In retrospect, I should have noticed the warning signs.

One evening, while standing in the center of the dance floor, Kim spun away from Joe, drew me close (really close, nose-to-nose close), and nibbled my ear. I disregarded it as drunken behavior.

Joe and Kim invited my wife and me to join them on an all-expenses-paid trip (also known as a swingers sex vacation) to the Outer Banks of North Carolina not long after we became friends and after numerous (red flag) incidents.

At the time, it never occurred to me that they might have ulterior motives. I can recall thinking, "Great! Who does not appreciate a vacation? Who cares that we don't really know each other? The essence of life is adventure!" Clearly, I was a young and naive youth.

I Investigated The Secret World Of Suburban Swingers To Determine Why The "Swinger Lifestyle" Is So Appealing To Women

The evening before our trip, the four of us dined out. As the drinks flowed, the conversation turned to how fortunate we all felt to have become "insta-besties."

But the first physical indication of what was to come was when I found myself trying to ignore our friend's wife's subtle footsies. Again, I attributed it to alcohol, and we boarded a large jet to one of the most beautiful places on the East Coast.

During hotel check-in, things became... intriguing. We were informed that only one room had been reserved.

"Oops," Joe said. There must have been an error.

Unfortunately, my swingers radar had not yet activated, and it never occurred to me that this was deliberate. As soon as we were all settled in, we donned our swimwear and headed to the pool to soak up some rays and sip some mojitos.

That evening, we hit the bars hard. Everyone was quite inebriated, and we may have gotten a little physical, but cross-flirtation between couple-friends is normal, right? We are human beings.

Kim instructed Joe to take me out for "a few" drinks the following evening. Upon reflection, it is evident that she yearned for some alone time with my wife.

A little bro time never hurts, so we proceeded to get hammered in the more populated strip of bars.

Joe downed a shot and blurted, "Would you like to see a picture?" His phone slid across the table, and I found myself staring at a rather naked woman in a compromising position.

"Is that your spouse?" I inquired.

He returned the phone to me and proceeded to inform me that there was more to come and that his wife thought I was extremely attractive. Drunk, the rules of man code immediately raced through my mind.

How should I react to this? Does he cross a boundary with me? Did I just cross a line by showing him this photograph?

Honestly, my curiosity was intoxicatedly piqued. So I inquired as to what he meant. He continued to insist that his wife was attracted to me and that my wife was very attractive.

Then he laid it all out, explaining that they invited us on vacation so they could sleep with us.

What Happened When I Went to a Swinging Bar as a Single Woman is Related.

I quickly informed him that I was thirsty and then went to the men's room to call my wife. Apparently, a hangover from the previous night prevented her from drinking much at the hotel, and it appeared that Kim did not inform her of the situation.

She responded to my frantic tone by asking if I was okay. I weighed telling her Joe's true intentions against letting the situation play out; we still had two days left on the trip. Things could become extremely bizarre.

"I'm okay, honey. Yes, I'll be home shortly."

I took a moment to consider my options in front of the bathroom mirror.

Either I could accept this gentleman's offer and dive headfirst into the swinger's world (with my wife's permission, of course) or I could politely excuse myself and leave the situation without causing a rift.

Option three was also available: grab my lady, head to the airport, and flee.

In my intoxicated state, I said with a headshake, "Oh, I was unaware that you two were swingers. I'm flattered by the offer, but neither my wife nor I are interested."

Situation stabilized.

What Happened When My Husband And I Experimented With "Choreplay" for One Week?

My Husband's Pants Are Ruining Our Relationship, Which Is Why I Smoke Weed Every Night Before Bed I saw his face sink. Did the two of us send out mixed signals? Yes, I am a flirt, but I don't believe I exude the aura of a Swinger For Hire.

The remainder of that evening and the remainder of the journey were marked by a rapid decline. He then proceeded to order shot after shot and became completely inebriated, leaving me to carry a man at least 50 pounds heavier than me back to the hotel room. Once there, he worshipped the porcelain throne while explaining (loudly) to his girlfriend that he had failed to convince me.

We ultimately endured, and a day and a half later we all flew back home. We did not see each other frequently after that.

I liked them both and wish things had turned out differently, but I hope they learned a few lessons from this trip.

Before inviting a couple on a swinger's vacation, please determine whether they are interested.

Asking to sleep with another man's wife at any time is a terrible idea.

What do I know, though? Perhaps it has worked for them previously. I will never again judge a book by its cover, that is certain.

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