SEX/LOVE AND LIVING THE LIFE I WANT.

Why Do Men Love Handjobs From Women

Not always does the humble hand job receive favorable press. They lack the cultural cache of their oral counterpart, they are feared by many women, and they are frequently treated as an afterthought in most mainstream porn sex movies columns, being eclipsed in glitz and erotic glamour by the newest in a never-ending stream of new kinks. I must say that I adore them. Just not for the reasons you think they're awesome. Hand jobs are awesome. We'll get to that in a moment. First, it's important to consider why they are underappreciated and why so many women are strangely hesitant about hand jobs but incredibly confident when it comes to blow jobs. One fundamental truth provides the answer to that question: We are better at doing the second of those than you are. Obviously, we can.

After all, the majority of us guys have been getting off with our hands every day since we were in our mid-teens. We've worked on it for literally thousands of hours, so chances are that you're right if your first thought as you curl your fingers around it is, "I won't be able to do this as well as he can do it himself." And yet so, so wrong at the same time. The truth is that you might not be able to get us here as quickly as we could if we did it ourselves, and you might not be aware of the exact amount of pressure we prefer, how to use your thumb, or how long you should spend concentrating on the head. Even after we've explained everything to you, you might not be able to hold on as tightly as we can or develop the instinctual sense of when to accelerate or decelerate—or when to maintain the same speed.

Every partner I've had has had a better understanding of her vagina than I have, I can say that with some degree of certainty. There will always be slight errors because, although I can read body language, rely on experience, and follow instructions, I will never be able to feel the impact of my actions. There are times when the rhythm is excellent, though not quite perfect. 95 to 98 percent of the way there. Just not flawless. I occasionally do a hand job that would have received an A+ if she had done it herself. But even with a partner I am familiar with, it won't always happen.

It can't, not because I'm bad at it or because I don't pay attention to her. However, many women enjoy being fingered for any number of different reasons. Nostalgia. the dynamic of power. the emphasis on their enjoyment. How simple it is to act inappropriately in public or other places. Just the bare minimum of tender loving care. There is also a physical component to it. My fingers are typically thicker and longer than my partner's. I can thrust and pump harder because I'm stronger. I can approach it from various directions. In either case, it's not a substitute for something they could perform on their own, and the appeal extends beyond straightforward clitoral or vaginal stimulation. There is a larger context, and this is frequently where the hotness originates.

The same holds true for manual labor. As guys, we don't want or even expect you to touch our cocks in the exact same way that we do. It's not that we're too lazy to masturbate or that we don't appreciate your efforts in producing an effective, flawless orgasm that includes a flawless dismount and landing. We enjoy manual labor—or at least I do—because of all the perks that come with it. Again, there is that broader context. It's not about the mechanics, to put it simply. There are some things that women shouldn't do, but it's up to me to tell her or, better yet, demonstrate for her.

For example, I don't want to feel like my cock is stuck in a mechanical vice or have her try to pull it off my body. I've been convincing myself to come for twenty years, and unsurprisingly, I'm pretty damn good at it. You probably won't succeed if all you try to do is imitate your partner's masturbation. However, it becomes one of the very best things you can do to, for, or with a man once you realize that there is so much more to a hand job than its basic components and that, in all honesty, sometimes we just want to be touched. On this one, believe me.

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